Toxic people want you to feel sorry for them, and responsible for what happens to them.
Jodie Gale, life coach and psychotherapist, explained:
“Often the person is deeply wounded and for whatever reason, they are not yet able to take responsibility for their wounding, their feelings, their needs and their subsequent problems in life.”
Christine Porath, associate professor at Georgetown University, said:
”Toxic people not only harm others emotionally, but they’re also a threat to health.”
#1 They Know Your Weaknesses & Use Them
Toxic people come to know your weaknesses and will typically use that knowledge against you.
If you are worried about your partner cheating on you, they will definitely mention it in an intimidating manner when they themselves feel in a weaker spot.
#2 They Insult Others
Toxic people are rude and abrasive by nature. All true friends can feel comfortable messing with each other by poking fun innocuously, however, toxic people go way overboard with the insults and jabs.
They do this in social situations to establish a sense of dominance and inconspicuously undermine others.
They never got over that high-school mentality, where it was cool or amusing to make fun of others and make them feel small by using nothing but their words.
#3 They Are Regularly Playing The Victim
If you feel like your friend is constantly exaggerating their level of emotional or physical discomfort, this may be a sign of a toxic person.
Additionally, a toxic person may play the victim to try to induce a sense of protectiveness or feelings of guilt in you to twist the situation in their favor.
#4 They Act Entitled and Superior
If your friend demands or expects special treatment it is a sign of controlling behavior.
In addition, this person may use sarcasm when speaking with you, and she might act as if she is smarter, knows best, and is always right.
Typically, toxic friends talk down to you or are rude or condescending.
They may even tell you that your opinions don’t make sense or are stupid.
In general, a toxic friend will insinuate that you are inferior to her in some way.
#5 They Act As If Rules Don’t Apply To Them
A toxic person frequently acts as if rules don’t apply to them.
They act as if they are far too important for them to have to abide by the rules of other people.
If your partner or friend usually pushes ahead of others in a public setting, cuts lines, or disregards others around them in general, you might be in a relationship with a toxic person.
#6 They Undermine Your Faith In Your Grasp Of Reality
Toxic people are incredibly skilled liars. They insist an incident didn’t happen when it did, and they insist they said or did something when they didn’t.
But, the problem is they’re so good at it that you end up questioning your own sanity.
Furthermore, to insist that whatever caused the problem is a creation of your imagination is a powerful way of getting out of trouble.
#7 They Are Demanding
If your friend places unreasonable demands on you and expects you to put everything aside when she needs you, that is a clear sign of a toxic person.
Moreover, she may demand that you spend all your time with her. Toxic friends even try to control who you date, what classes you take, and what you wear.
In addition, they may even accuse you of not being a good friend when you do not meet their demands.
Important note – if you are not in control of your own decisions in the friendship, then this is a sign of a toxic friendship.
#8 They’re Not Very Empathetic
Empathy is the capacity to understand and get a feel of other people’s emotions.
A toxic person may have trouble holding kind conversations with people due to a lack of empathy.
Also, she often says the wrong thing at the wrong time.
#9 They Always Judge & Criticize Other People
Toxic people simply cannot put up with mistakes or errors from other people.
They come across as sanctimonious and pious to their family and close friends but they cannot help themselves, it is like a reflex action.
#10 They Are Control Freaks
Another very common trait of a toxic person is trying to control your regular life to the best to her abilities.
A toxic person will be explaining or instructing you to do things a certain way. Obviously, these ways would be more suited to her needs.
#11 They Subtly Threaten You
Indirect threats are another common tactic that toxic people use.
This tactic involves anticipating the worst outcome possible as a consequence of your behavior.
#12 They Are Hypocrites
They have extremely high expectations for adoration, respect, and fidelity.
After the idealization phase, toxic persons will give none of this back to you. They will degrade, insult, lie, and cheat. But you are always expected to remain calm and peaceful.
#13 They Don’t Like When You Make Decisions
If your partner or friend has ever gotten upset with you when you didn’t consult them before making a decision, it’s likely you’re in a toxic relationship.
They tend to become upset when you exercise any free will on your own, and they don’t like when you do things without them.
David Gemmell, a British author, said:
“Trust your instincts, and make judgments on what your heart tells you. The heart will not betray you.”
#14 They Tell Half-Truths
Toxic people tend to mold the truth to their advantage. They approach all interactions as if they’re in a court of law, where what they say can be used against them.
They will typically hide information which they know will expose them as liars, acting as if this is somehow better than telling a straight-out lie.
By acting in this way, toxic persons can honestly say “I never said that.” Yes, you technically never did say that, however, the method you skirted the truth wasn’t exactly correct.
#15 They Use A “Divide and Conquer” Strategy
They use this strategy to separate you from other people who do not buy into their controlling attitudes, including getting in between friendships, relationships, and family members.
Be more aware of whom you are surrounded with, and always love yourself enough to let go of toxic people.